Elections and Exams

The past week has been quite a ride. My buddy, Jose, ran as USC councilor while three other friends of mine ran as department representatives in my home college. As an orgmate and as a friend, I had to support and campaign for them. Not only that, just join them and make them feel at ease whenever stress plagues into their systems.

I’ve gone too far though. I entered my dorm room, and I can’t believe how messy it was. I have been out every night, for like three weeks now and I have had no time to clean things up. I haven’t even had the chance to pick up my laundry and do academic stuffs.

I never thought of the latter for the past month, until just earlier when I had to take the ES 13 exam. As I skimmed through my notes, this is the first time I had skipped noting. I have incomplete summaries and lecture notes. And I didn’t know what was going on, the whole time I was trying to read and absorb what’s written there. When I skimmed through my book, same same thing. I felt hopeless. And when I took the exam, and tried answering. Right after, I just sobbed. I just can’t help but be sad because I know I can’t blame anyone for that. I did that to myself; I didn’t balance things out.

Anyway, I’d look at it as a motivation. A challenge, I have to ace both ES 12 and ES 13 exams on the last week of March.

And instead of posting an entry in this rotting blog, I should be studying.

SHOUT OUT:
Happy Birthday Kuya Ederic
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USC Elections

Tomorrow will be my third time to vote in the UP Diliman USC and ESC elections. Its kinda surprising that this year’s election is about to end, cleaner than the first two I have experienced.

Crisis

For the past few days, I thought I could manage things out. I thought that everything will pan out the way I wanted. I thought I’d be able to recover smoothly. I thought I’d be able to forget the feeling.

I tried not to make a big fuss about anything related to us. I tried not to think of it as something I’d expect something of. I really made an effort to make it normal for us. I just wish I could let it just fade away and live life like she never existed.

But unlike this simple essay, I can’t backspace and change things. I cannot erase the fact that I have fallen in love with her. I also cannot erase that I’m getting drowned to the feeling. I also cannot just undo everything. I really don’t get it. How difficult is it to unnotice someone who doesn’t really care.

I really am blind. I really didn’t see the repercussions of what kind of situation I have put myself into. I really didn’t took everything into consideration before doing it. And now that everything’s a mess – my identity, my confidence, my mind. I just don’t know anyone who can help me get through this. All I know is that I self-destructed and I can’t put myself back to what I used to be.

I feel rotten. Though I know how to pretend, there are certain things that I can’t hide. Certain things which I am still not sure of.

I used to be really good at this. I’m actually really good at advising people. I just don’t know how I lost myself.

It’s quite tiring if you keep on looking for something; and you just can’t find anything. Worse is, you’re alone and unhappy.

Now, I’m very afraid of what kind of person I’m ending up. Day by day, I hate myself. I just wish I know how to give up.
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Boyce Avenue Live in Manila

Yes, they’re coming! And I’m absolutely pump to see ‘em. Best part is, its a series of free shows!

Gary Granada vs. GMA Kapuso Foundation

Apparently, GMA Kapuso foundation fooled Gary Granada and used his piece for the commercial.

Gary Granada explains how he got fooled by the powers-that-be in GMA.

Listen to Gary Granada’s claim.